WAW says she wants to come back

[Grocerykartman]

Thanks newmama and FaithnAK. That's what I have thought all along. I received a text message from her back in June that saidd just that, IF I will try she is ready to give up OM. This has been followed up with words that are only slightly better....those being " I can/will give him up....DONE". This is closer but she's still missing the boat here....that is not the same as saying "I HAVE given him up."

My thinking is very simple on this...I refuse to talk to her about the two of us when there are 3 of us. Otherise, he is at least nothing more than insurance for her, and at most, well, I try not to think about it. She simply will not let him go, even though I think she thinks she should...of course this only seems to really happen at times the emotion hits her hard, like when she really misses my daughter. She has been seeing an IC for a fairly long time, probably 5 months now...but obviously we're still at this point and not happily reconciling.

I do absolutely get now what people (on here especially )mean when they say that they resent changes from their SO only after they get to the point of leaving. Why weren't you good enough to be changed for when your heart was still in it? That's what this feels like. I also agree, I could always get remarried to her if if in the long run it seemed like the best decision for both of us. I have not had time to heal from the infidelity, plain and simple. I do not see how I can make that committment to her now with my heart not into it.

But what about my D? Am I doing the right thing? That's really what I worry about. Suppose I am the kind of person that my wife wants now? Hard to beleive she (and I in retrospect) could be that unhappy before but after 8 months apart could be so much better now. SHE moved out, not me. When I tell people this, they almost always just tell me something to the effect of "WOW! she did? I don't know man, good luck" If she was that unhappy before, even though I did my best to GAL and did a lot of things I never made the time for while we were together...how can I be that much different really? And put me back together with her, that probably changes the dynamic again. It's easy to say I'm going to visit my buddy in Texas or I'm going to go to karaoke tonight or whatever when you are by yourself. I don't want to slough off of the GAL path I have been on. But, suppose I am what she wants? Do I let my mistrust steer everything or do I work on that too, for the sake of my daughter? Very confusing to me here as to what is the RIGHT thing to do.