Soaring Solo 2010

[newmama]

Gardener, first of all, I am so relieved that your brother is ok! And that is mindblowing to hear he had a similar near death vision that many people speak of...yet he is atheist! So is he going to reconsider his spirituality? wow!

Now for this:

But this morning it all added up again in a whole new way, a new revelation. A pattern:
I suddenly realized that... - in short, every time after intimacy, she always pulled back in one way or another for some length of time or another. Always. Our entire marriage. A pattern that I never saw.

Hmmm, I wonder what caused you to have this revelation? Was it the yoga? The fact that she called your brother? Just curious.

And ultimately, all the above along with this morning's revelation of her pattern which I never saw, never connected the dots of while we were married does me no good. Gets me nowhere.

Well could it at least offer an explanation for her behavior leading up to divorce and how she wanted to meet up after? I mean it does, again, prove that some spouses who walk away have internal issues that are beyond us. We cannot help them or change them...(I know you know this, just stating it) and truly, sometimes helping them means we get hurt again and again! So hard when you love someone!

Thank you for sharing your personal feelings and thoughts with us. I am sorry you are having a rough time at the moment.