Well.. everything the former spouse has done was somewhat expected. That they'd get engaged, married and probably have a child(ren) because of her ticking clock. The former spouse is 56, she's 39.
Shortly after the divorce my son felt I should know his dad was engaged. When challenged his father had demurred. Hearing that stung. I felt I had a right to know to help the kids transition. But no.
My sis-in-law was the one to inform me a month or so later that the former spouse was getting married that day. It was something the kids knew but didn't share. Afterwards my daughter said that was all he talked about when they'd have their occasional dinner. Ah well.. that's when it started to be none of my business... though I was concerned that the kids never shared anything. Then again, it puts them in a very awkward position, in the middle. Though one son started when he became very frustrated with his dad's piggishness. When it has to do with how things effect THEM they're more likely to share.
I don't know nor can I presume anything more than the present. But I can be the mom, commiserate with my daughter over how nauseous his wife is when pregnant. She and the boys have enough to handle without emotionally supporting me. I don't know the wife (aside from the black sticky tar goo sensation based on her actions when she's identified herself on the phone.) and will probably never have anything to do with her or the former spouse. And that's just dandy with me.
Any baby is a miracle and source of joy. I can only wish the greatest happiness and fullest life for the coming bundle. And I'm very very happy that my daughter wants to see her father more because kids need both parents.
On the financial side the former spouse's dad was quite robust, dropping dead at 90 from an aneurysm. And a child means he won't retire and the alimony won't decrease until he does.
Thanks for the compliment about being graceful. It's probably more in line with being detached and no longer being or desiring to be connected to him. At the same time knowing that bits and pieces may remain in my heart but no longer emotionally impinge on my psyche.
I just have to remember it's all business when I deal with him and not react to his bullying and anger.
