Are you saying that since she's been out of the house that you have shown your bad temper and bad mouth? I thought that was back before the affair.
Lee, you think your stitch is unique and you don't see your M in the WAW syndrome or in DR (LRT). Until you realize that your W is exactly a walk-away and deal with it from the DR principles then you are not going to gain ground.
Why would you say she isn't a WAW? She had an affair and has even convinced you that the second time was emotional and not physical. She has walked away from you and your home. She has told you she doesn't want to be M to you, so why does that not qualify her for a WAW?
I would be glad to try and help you but you've got to try and see through your own fog and follow advice. As it is, you are still trying to control the stitch. You try to control her, you try to tell the C what to do, and you even wanted to tell the Pastor what to say to her. You haven't given everything to God b/c you are still in charge and as long as you do that...it won't work.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
