I don't think it is time for LTR, but it is sure time to stop talking about the relationship. The only reason I would suggest LRT right now is to give you a chance to center yourself.
This is going to take a long time. Hanging on every word is going to drive you crazy. If you can't stop hanging on every word, then you have to limit the number of words.
That is very good advice. I didnt think it was time for the LTR yet either but I need to stop the R talk. I do have to make a choice about the part in bold. Thanks for the advice. Any others feel free to chime in.
Originally Posted By: Virtually_Handsome I don't think it is time for LTR, but it is sure time to stop talking about the relationship. The only reason I would suggest LRT right now is to give you a chance to center yourself.
That is very good advice. I didnt think it was time for the LTR yet either but I need to stop the R talk.
You don't think it's time for the last resort technique? The two of you are separated, have the kids on a visition schedule and she wants out of the M. When were you planning to use the LRT?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
You don't think it's time for the last resort technique? The two of you are separated, have the kids on a visition schedule and she wants out of the M. When were you planning to use the LRT?
Its not that cut and dry. We are separated, Yes. But we talk every single day. We see each other almost every single day. The way we have the kids 50/50 no one goes longer than 2 days at most not seeing them. Yes, she has said she wanted a divorce, only to go back to saying I dont know what I want. Last night she said it derserves a 2nd chance, and admitted that she has thought about coming home during all this. I am not sure if its time to do LTR. Only when she keeps her mind made up for longer than 2 days or files? I dont know. We are going around in circles. If I cut off all ties in the LTR I am almost poisitve that will not help my sitch at all. I think I need a combo of both maybe. I just need to use the experiment phase still IMO.
I'm in the same shoes as you. I know your fear. I've been clinging to my wife, thinking that as long as she's staying in the house, seeing my changes, and my love for her, that it'll break through to her. And I've lost 47 days of my life. Nothing is better than on Bomb Day. Nothing. All I've done is waste 47 days of my life.
I know you want to hold on to her as much as you can. You want her to know how you feel, how you care. But it's not working. She's moved out. Talking about the relationship is backfiring.
You need to set goals for yourself based on your values. You need to detach your emotions and actions from her so that you don't bounce around so much. You need a real break from each other so that you can find the real Lee, and she can figure out what she really needs. Children make this tough, but that's why the LRT is probably the best for your sitch and mine.
Be strong, be confident, be the man you dreamt of being when you were a kid.
Yes many times. This is really not a situation like that. Its a mixed bad. I have a lot of responsibility with this. I think if she would have done what she done and I didnt wasnt the way I have been with my anger and mouth, she would of been back a long time ago. I really hurt her too. That hurt is keeping her from coming home right now. If I could get forgave I would be in good shape.
Thanks Time. I know that but Im stupid. I guess I always expect these to change back and forth and Im trying to always figure out if something means something or not, you know. Thats why I got to stop hanging on every word.
