Im going to reread some parts today of the book. I dropped a card into her car today ( I know, I know)while picking up the kids. It said just that. That I am happy she sees that it derserves a second chance and that Im going to try and be strong and just love her, be here for her when she is ready and just try and lift her spirits. And just not try to get down and go back to being my happy self that everyone loves, but be a better me.
I this has been insane on me mental wise and psyically. I have drop 35 lbs in 9 weeks. Im 6'2 was about 230. Now Im 195. Everyone sees me and ask how you getting in great shape,I just LOL and say nothing.
I think my problem is that I hang on every word she saids. Thats a huge issue, when she in a bad mood, we are done, when she is in a avg mood she is confused and knows that we should be together. When she goes negative, I go negative and just start grabing for answers. If I can look over that when it happens, the presure part would stop. I have got to look over that and just stick with the plan. Easier said than done.
I think my problem is that I hang on every word she saids. Thats a huge issue, when she in a bad mood, we are done, when she is in a avg mood she is confused and knows that we should be together. When she goes negative, I go negative and just start grabing for answers. If I can look over that when it happens, the presure part would stop. I have got to look over that and just stick with the plan. Easier said than done.
Right on lee. My W is doing the same exact thing. You know that saying believe nothing she says, only 50% of what she does? Well, start focusing on those "average" times as the 50% you want to believe. The other times are that 50% that isn't true.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
You have to be careful how you back off though. Its not cut and dry, every situation is different. If your wife thinks you have not been there for her or that you didnt love her and you back totally off, I promise you she wont be back. I can see not pressuring every time you speak, that makes sense. You have to decide what fits your sitch the best. Its not just plan A or B. If your wife has not had a affair of any kind or the affair is over, Im not sure backing totally off is a great plan for all.
I assume you have followed this thread. I have read the book once. So do I need to " Experiment and Monitor Results" or since she moved out 2 months ago moved to LTR like the book said. I mean we do talk to each other a lot, see each other a lot becuase of the kids, or do I LTR now?????
I thought LTR was when your spouse has completly shut you out. Im confused.
I don't think it is time for LTR, but it is sure time to stop talking about the relationship. The only reason I would suggest LRT right now is to give you a chance to center yourself.
This is going to take a long time. Hanging on every word is going to drive you crazy. If you can't stop hanging on every word, then you have to limit the number of words.
