Don't care much anymore. My H is like one of my kids. Just tired of all this. He is home all the time and starting to help with the kids, but my outlook on him is not the same. I just want to run. I just don't care at times. I want to contact my exboyfriend and don't care. I been married almost 20 years. We were together 6 yrs. I met my h and was married in 3 months. There was never any real closure. I don't know. So frustrated.
Afraid - you posted here for a reason - you know that what you are feeling is out of sorts with who you are. You have 26 years with this man AND children. Take a step back and reconnect with who YOU are and what YOU believe. The exboyfriend is a distraction. Take the time to figure out what is going on with YOU! From a newbie:)
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
OK, read some more of your posts. A lot of crap has happened in your life (major stressors), and your H has taken a hit on the employment end of things (this is always very rough on men).
What I guess I don't get is how we get from all of these traumas--death, unemployment, communication breakdowns--to this imaginary BS about a boyfriend 20 years ago?
It's like we went from "Boy, things sure are rough" to "Now I am completely irrational" without doing things like seeing a counselor or Family Therapist to try to work on things.
What you are saying is no different that somebody saying, "My life sucks, so I think will just shoot heroin". No differnet. How is it going to make things better?
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
TH has a good point ooncerning the closure statement with the old boyfriend. That would be like my MLC H telling me he went back and took up with his old GF from 40 years ago because he needed closure. (She dumped him back then.)
It wasn't a rational person who left me, the kids and everything we built for an old GF. My H is now less happy there than he was with his family.
Please think about what it is that you truly want.
IMHO, the old boyfriend thing is definitely a bad idea. You have an idealized memory of being young and in love, roses and music, fun and laughs, but the reality is you didn't stay with him. There was a reason, and like most memories, they soften with time and we forget the bad parts. You may have married your H after only 4 months, but 20 years! That's more than just an initial infatuation.
You had something special, you just have to find the way to find it again. It seems your H wants to try. Mine doesn't want to try at all.
Afraid, I don't blame you, if he doesn't have his act together after 6 years, its never going to happen. Seems like you have really tried, I would get a divorce and move on.
Afraid, Just clarifying. You were with your boyfriend for 6 years. Then you met your H and got married after 3 months. Now you have been married 20 years and want to run. Is this correct?
