I tried, I changed, but still am getting divorced!

[newmama]

You know, sometimes I have to be a little negative and say that
being a single mom to a baby/toddler is lonely and ROUGH!

Lonely because:
1)my other friends are married or with significant others
2)S' nap times interfere with scheduling playgroups
3)I don't have the most reliable family in the world--

Rough because:
1)I have to make decisions by myself--can't exactly call up stbxh you know? And I don't know if I am supposed to? How does one raise a BABY with an exH?! And I HATE that he is raising him with his OW girlfriend! Grrrrr!!!

BUT. I don't like to vent on here about it too much because I feel very guilty for complaining when many others have way worse...waaaaaaay worse situations than I do.

Still, it is not rosy rainbows and fun fun and wonderful. It is hard.

Not trying to have a pity party, just saying.

On another note, it has been amusing to observe stbxh as he thinks I am dating! Earlier this week he said something to me about whether he should bring S back to the house or to daycare the next morning. I grabbed S' arm and kissed him and said "NO! Bring him home!" but then realized why he was asking! So I said
"I might consider that sometime, but you will be doing that soon enough when I return to work."

Then, Thursday when he came to pick S up, I was just anxious for him to just go. I asked him if he had to use the bathroom (his prostate) and he said no, he could hold it, then added "do you have to get ready?" I just decided to go with it and said "yes."

Then I slept past my alarm on Friday a.m. (I usually set it for 6 so that I can be awake when he drops S off at 6:30). I came running downstairs when the doorbell rang and he said
"S, mommy needs to go back to sleep...you go back to sleep, too!"

The best thing, though, will be when he is alone with S one day.
He has NO CLUE what it's like. ZERO and he doesn' get it.