Abuquerque For almost a year I had suspicions that my H was having an A. He would lie obsessively about it whenever I confronted him or questioned him. Looking back- I wish I didn't do that...I didn't have any proof...just a gut feeling. It made me feel worse being lied to.
However, once I found H 'extra' cell phone...he couldn't lie about it any longer. In my case, I wish I sat back and did exactly what PEI is suggesting up until this revelation. For me- confronting him before the 'proof' didn't result in anything good. Unless you have proof- be prepared for 1 million excuses and 2 million lies.
FWIW, even with proof you will likely get lies and excuses. I would spend some time reading through the resources, taking care of you and D, planning YOUR future ... which includes the how/when/if to expose/confront your H about OW. You will get many opinions here ... it's up to you do examine your motivations and expectations surrounding anything you think you want to do and make your choices from a healthy place.
Good luck! PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
