We didn't make it through the first hand before she pulled me into R talk.
You can't be "pulled" into an R talk, John. It takes two to have a conversation. A simple "I'm really not prepared to talk about this right now," or "I thought we were playing cards -- I don't want to talk about this right now" is all was needed here.
or, as I suggested above, "Look, to be frank, I decided that I'm no longer willing to lie to cover up your affair. Now, did you really want to play cards with me, or did you just want to badger me about the mess that you created?"
As long as you refuse to (or are afraid to?) implement even the most basic DB strategies that have been suggested to you, you're going to end up in a never-ending series of these cheeseless tunnels.
