At My Good Friend Puppy's request

[Hope4us]

Mike, I had some time this morning and I read parts of your thread. You're getting great advise from Allen and Puppy. If I say something you're already doing, disregard it as I didn't read the whole thing.

Read #3 and #4 in my original post on this thread.

IF, and that's a BIG IF, the A is truly over and there is NO CONTACT, WD will begin. Like I posted to Sunny, there's nothing you can do while she's in WD to save the marriage, but there's a whole lot you can do that will push her away.

While she's going through WD, she will be all over the place and say a whole bunch of chit. Ignore it.

When my W's A ended, it was almost two months before she said a SINGLE word to me that wasn't directly related to our son's care. I just went about my business knowing that was the first step that had to happen before we could begin recovering our marriage.

When my W mentioned divorce right towards the end of the A, I told her "go ahead and file and I'll counter file on the grounds of adultery and call her and OM to the stand to tell everyone just what they'd been doing". She also tried to get me to fill out a financial form for her lawyer. I flat out refused. Told her if she wanted it filled out, go ahead and file and then repeated what I said above. That ended the D talk.

The other thing I saw on your thread is that Allen and Puppy are telling you to be patient. That is a MUST.

Once my W began talking to me again two months after the A ended, I let her drive the communications. I responded to her but didn't initiate any conversations. And if she initiated anything, I kept my responses short.

IF her A is truly over, once she begins to get through the hardest part of WD, she'll begin to engage you. THAT'S when you start to slowly reel her in.

But I'll say it again, until the A is truly over and she's got through the hard WD, nothing you say or do will make her come back to the marriage faster, but MAY drive her away.

Look, I understand completely where you're coming from. We're guys. A over? Great, lets fix our marriage RIGHT NOW. But it doesn't work that way. Right now she doesn't see any way back to you. Once she gets through the hard WD, then you have a chance.

Hope this helps.