cheated on, lied to, and now I am moving on

[awest1217]

Talked to H last night. I got some post office stuff in the mail and wanted to let him know in case it was important, plus I wanted to ask about car insurance. We talked about S, and S talked to his dad. S does well for a while, but then he doesn't want to say good-bye so he looks around the room to tell H stuff. I told H about the pics. He said he would like to pay for 1/2 (we will see if he follows through because he never does). Then he went on and on about work and how well he is doing. I think he is trying to convince himself that he is happy.

I on the other hand am very happy. I am so happy with my life. S and I had a great time yesterday. It was the perfect summer day with the beautiful sunshine, water, and sand. S is finally getting more brave around the water so i was able to get some pics of him along the edge of the water. It was really wavy due to the massive change in temp the last few days and he loved it! The best part is I didn't get sunburnt like last time so I just am a little red, but not burnt and it will look nice for when school starts.

I am also very proud of how I handle H and have handled H. Yes we had our down points, but going through this parenting website, it says what will you do to make sure S is taken care of and there is no conflict around S. I just kept putting everything is working right now. We communicate well and if S wants to see H extra I ask H if he can and then go from there. We work through everything without worry. I may not trust H at all yet with S because of the previous behaviors, but I have always been open to H and S being around each other. I am very proud of that. Also we always say hello and good-bye and talk about S as needed. It is all about S and so there isn't any work we have to do (besides H continuing to be consistent). We get along so no problem, and I am proud of myself for helping to facilitate that.

It is also really nice to be able to me myself around H without having to worry about if it is going to hurt me. I am able to be nice and not think about him cake eating because we are getting divorced. There is no cake eating. We don't hang out or anything, but I can call him about S, be nice to him, listen if he wants to talk and tell him good job that he is excelling at work, but I keep my stuff to me. It is great to be able to be me all the time again.

I am so much happier now than I have been in a while and that is what is important. I am trying to figure out what to do next weekend since i don't have S and it is my last weekend...