You're not missing a thing. The things coming out of your H's mouth are the same type of things that my H has said.
My H became very resentful of the responsibility of being the head of the household. He felt he was just a paycheck and there was no way to convince him otherwise even with proof. I tried before finding DBing. He said he needed to leave to find happiness before he died.
Your H has the script down pat.
Stay as dark as you can, keep working on yourself, and give your H a good dose of what it's like to not have IB in his life.
Your H's fantasy world will slowly unravel around him.
