She's in MLC, but I was weak. Now what?

[crushednstuck]

Thanks PEI, I guess less real sting and more confusion. What does more emotional mean? Crying more?
Your points are well taken. I'm not a bystander in the M.
I think you may also be right about not recognizing the man I want to be if I saw him. How does that journey begin? Doesn't everyone want to be loved by their kids, financially secure, physically, spiritually and emotionally healthy - and loved by their spouse, family and friends?
I know the things that I want to accomplish and it's too long a list for a lifetime I'm afraid. Even more than that, I don't know if W is willing to be along for a portion or any of the trip. She has said my goals are what separates us because she thinks they don't include her.