She's in MLC, but I was weak. Now what?

[crushednstuck]

Ok MHL, Mach and Eric I'll consider myself poked. It's what I'd expect.
The drama of my last post belied a few beers. But your questions are relevant. I'll try to handle most.
To rate my W's things she'd change about me "more emotional", "connect to me", "share daily events". From my perspective, I need to deal with things head on. I'm a famous procrastinator. I don't like conflict. So Eric any worries about rage directed at spouse are not a concern. I am a gentleman and will never raise a hand to a woman. I've only raised my voice to her recently as this nightmare has unfolded. The anger manifested itself more in passive aggressive ways.
Fear of rejection is big. More than anger, fear has dominated a good bit of my life. I was always worried about disappointing Dad, but that's no longer a concern.
I feel stuck because my W accuses me of living another life; exercising, travelling, etc. She pushed me away with her controlling behavior and I compensated by doing my own thing. When the trauma arrived, we were already pretty well moving apart. Though I didn't see any of this at the time. I worry because the adventurous life I want to lead pulls me away from my W because she's more "indoorsy" than me. I struggle to find ways to connect all of us and still get acceptance. W thinks she's bowing to my needs.
Sorry for the long post, lots to respond to ..