At My Good Friend Puppy's request

[Mike.4545]

Allen,

I recognize that pursuing behavior is counter productive. I haven't been engaging in it really at all...not since the very beginning of my ordeal...before I sought everyone's advice here.

Anything I communicate to here is void of any "I love you, I miss you, Please come back," etc. It's really the same tone and content of how I would speak to a regular friend about every day stuff.

I don't get afraid that she thinks I don't love her, or care about getting her back anymore. I get afraid that never talking to her is just allowing her to more easily detach from me even more than she already has.

I've heard the Little Bo-Peep analogy on here a number of times...and everyone seems to say that completely leaving someone alone and waiting/hoping for them to come back is dumb. I'm focusing on myself, and my own self improvement...not for her...but for me, so I'm not really sitting around waiting...but I still feel so non-proactive right now.

I'm working with her family to get her into more individual counseling sessions, but aside from that I just give a short friendly response only when SHE contacts me and that's it? It seems so passive.

I feel like I want No-Contact to trigger her curiosity and attachment, or regular contact to create an environment where her feelings for me could actually grow again.

AH...I'm just getting very conflicted between a lot of different tactics that all make sense...but I just don't know which fits my situation the best.