You mentioned that you would invite your wife to do things with you now and then. Could that be classified as pursing?
Do you think there is anything wrong with sending her a short note every 2-3 weeks to see how she's doing and say you hope everything is going well?
Did you ever behave in a way that made your wife think that you were just moving on?
Most LBS' are terrified their spouse will think they don't love them anymore so they rationalize themselves silly into thinking contact is good, that pursuing is good, that love notes to touch base are good...
None of this is helpful to your situation.
Once your spouse starts to walk on you the first thing you need to fight for isn't your marriage, its your dignity.
If you let them walk all over you they will LOSE respect for YOU as much as YOU lose for them when they cheat on you nonstop...
I don't know what would drive a spouse away quicker... having a doormat for a partner or a cheater for a partner... it seems to be a coin toss...
In both cases respect goes into the toilet and you are headed nowhere fast...
Speak up for yourself, find your dignity, respect and love yourself first, and then you have a chance of them following you...
You need to let them go in order for them to come back...
No notes to touch base, no love letters, no nothing like that...
They don't need to know you want them back.. that's NOT whats missing... What's missing is their maturity level and chasing them like a teenager isn't going to instill an ounce of adulthood out of them.
