New Game- Exposed

[MHL]

Hey CD,
I am so glad you came through the last 24 hours in one piece and it sounds like to me you have not only your head but your heart in the right place.

A very important thing to remember is that no one here that I know of is a professional and even if they were, my experience with therapists is......they suck!!! LOL

We all come here for the same reason initially......

I don't care who you are or what your view is.....

The site is called "Divorce Busting" right???

There are many "opinions" as how to stop a divorce...you have seen this first hand on your thread.

No one knows your situation better than you, all you can do is take the advice, guidance and experiences that are shared here and chart your own course.

IN MY VERY HUMBLE OPINION......You are doing GREAT, and you will enjoy a rich, fulfilling life no matter what happens.

I will venture to add this.....and I have said it before, I think you have a very good chance to restore your marriage....

I am a betting man and I got my money on you.

Cheers

[CD Bear]

Thank you, my friend.

I think I gained another ally today. I ran into one of W's friends they got married two weeks ago.

I thought they knew more than they did. He asked where W was and I said "At his place"

Who?

"The boyfriend"

The WHAT?

So I dropped the whole A; his age; dates; WHY SHE WASN'T AT THEIR WEDDING!!!!

Can you say Shock And Awe?

They were pretty disappointed. A guy that talked to me like I was an outsider suddenly lends me his pressure washer and wants to go golfing next week.

And thanks for your optimistic view.
I'd like to be able to make you some money. But I'll have to make THAT decision if and when I need to.

[SunnyD]

You know - it feels GREAT when you find yourself gaining some allies. Support is SO key and can be found a lot of places!

[CD Bear]

Little update.
More good news.

I've now had a few good days in a row.
Felt positive and optimistic all three.
Feel strong and 'happy', of all things.

Rather than "getting through" a day, I'm already planning activities next weekend. And thinking about camping with my D the next weekend.

It's nice to be looking forward to my new future.
The new me is getting a lot of attention. I know Monday will likely be tough with W and the mediator but it doesn't matter right now.

This was her choice. And I am finding all the good I can find in it and running with it. The one thing I NEED from now on is ME. And THAT is unnegotiable.

I just thought that all of you who helped me get to today needed to know and feel good about what you've done.
And get a much deserved THANK YOU.

I know I'm a long way from the finish line in this race but it appears though a "win" isn't guaranteed, it'll be a good finish.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

You sound GOOD, CD!!

[CD Bear]

Hey, Puppy!
Don't get me wrong. I have moments throughout the day when my mind will drift to her for some reason. But it surprises me how quickly that it also "reframes and resets" the thought to a "healthier' view.

e.g. I was shopping with D yesterday for some clothes. I happened to find us next to the womens bathing suits. My brain went to "her" and a hundred memories of our vacations and how good she looked and "would look now" in one. Then quickly to "with him" in one. A bubble of bitterness. But just as quickly, it faded to how shallow that R must be; how "physical only" his view of her is; and how quickly that will fade and become empty. How little he "loves" her compared to what "we" shared. And she will likley experience that "difference" at some point.
Then I was thinking "Well, it may be the last time I see "her' in a bikini, but it won't be my last experience with "someone in a bikini". And then my mind went to playing on a beach with D and 'whoever'. And it was gone. 2 minutes?

We finished shopping and went home. I ordered some books I've wanted (should be here for next weekend) and went to a freiends and D played with his girls. The 'sitch" barely came up.

Refreshing.

If anyone has something to add, suggest or caution me about, I'm all ears.

Thanks.

I've also found a few people "alternatively"

[steady]

Ah, the altuniverse. You can find me there too.

CD, as time passes, as you've begun to notice, those pings become less and less pervasive and shorter in duration.

Just be wary - I'm not sure if it happens to others, but there are certain things that trigger it. For example, at the end of July I was having a really rough week. I couldn't understand why the sitch was invading my mind more than it had been for months. Then I realized it was 2 years ago that I had moved out of my house for 2 weeks and it was very rough on me. I find these kinds of 'anniversaries' play on me even if it's on a subconscious level.

[CD Bear]

Well, I have my 4th Wedding Anniversary coming Sept 2.

I won't be celebrating. Actually may try to get my Sep Agreement done and/or signed the day before. Just because.

Then I'm clear til Christmas.

Find you? Acquantance of Gritter?
I'm RG.

[CD Bear]

Journalling and opinion-seeking.
"Rainy Day Cleaning Therapy"

So, with mixed breaks to play with D while she watched her movies, I cleaned the upstairs bedrooms and "found the floor" of the laundry room. I have consolidated as much of W's stuff into one spot as possible.

I have her laundry and clean stuff in a couple (right, 8!) baskets. Plus all her hairdryers, makeup and perfumes, etc in a few nice bags.

There were a few items that reminded me of happier times but it has to be done. A bit of a "heart cleaning" as well.

Lead; follow; or get out of the way.

I may look over a few "scripts" for tomorrow afternoon (or take suggestions). Just so she is clear that I am absolutely fine with our separation. D is the last option but she has clearly made her choice to "skip to the end". Plus, since an "open marriage" is not acceptable as I told her two weeks ago, I would like to speed this along. She is not someone I wish to be with any longer.

Thanks in advance for any script suggestions.
general support is also welcomed, as usual.

[Greek]

Your strength, good "health" and balance comes through in your posts. I know things did not/have not turned out the way you (and all of us who remember you in the beginning) wanted it to, but we knew going into this that there was one aspect to all of this that could not be controlled - her choices. But your choices have come from a position of strength and you've grown, too!

Cheers ~
Greek