I could well see her feeding me some line of BS but not paying for it and she has expressed a willingness to do that.
Has she given you the money yet????
I have seen WS's willing to give up their house, car, retirement, children and the list is endless. when they want out. ( and still say they want to be "friends")
I would get that money (I already have assumed she hasn't given it to you, but only promised..) as soon as you can... I wouldn't bet on getting it if you wait too much longer.
Most can't stomach my methods because of their self esteem...
I do want to say though, that she is probably having an affair with the married guy at work. This would make sense to her saying she would still go on vacation with you. When a woman has an affair with a married man, she usually won't leave her home if the man doesn't leave his wife. He has probably told her he was going to leave, but can't yet because of the kids or some other lamebrain excuse that women fall for.
So, instead of going on vacation alone, she gets you to tag along as her puppy. Still hoping she would want you back.
I know you don't want to hear this, but the best way to get them back is to bring another woman into the picture. Works great, works fast and usually straightens them out for good. She won't be breaking up with you wanting to be "friends" ever again. You already allowed her to do it once. Now this is twice..
First time.. Shame on her .. This time shame on you.
Look.. Get some backbone. Get some confidence... Let her think you are over her and are EXCITED about the new dating world that is out there for YOU.... Works like a charm. Better than hanging around hoping, and moping and being all faithful and in chech while she eats all the cake.
Had to respond to a comment you made that women, when they want out of a R don't say what they really mean, such as" we don't love you , don't want anything to do with you". I only think people soften their words when they want to leave the door open for returning once they have had their fun.If an affair doesn't work out, then they didn't burn their bridges and can come slinking back.
Maybe it isn't the best approach is soften the wording and isn't 100% honest, but telling it straight up hurts the other person much more. I know this for a fact as my H was very blunt when he dropped the bomb 07/20/10. H said I don't love you, we aren't friends, as a couple we are dead, etc. Pretty tough words to hear.
I think people play way too many games as evidenced by a lot of posts.
Maybe it isn't the best approach is soften the wording and isn't 100% honest, but telling it straight up hurts the other person much more. I know this for a fact as my H was very blunt when he dropped the bomb 07/20/10. H said I don't love you, we aren't friends, as a couple we are dead, etc. Pretty tough words to hear.
Yes it may hurt more.
Interesting though, that EVEN though he told you straight up all of those things that you say he said to you, that you are no differeent than the others. You are STILL trying to win him back. What does it take for a WS to tell a BS that it is OVER and for the BS to get it and give up?????
ILYBNILWY doesn't work. I only want to be friends doesn't work.. And now we see that just being mean and nasty and hurtful doesn't work to get the BS to let go....
Most can't stomach my methods because of their self esteem...
I do want to say though, that she is probably having an affair with the married guy at work. This would make sense to her saying she would still go on vacation with you. When a woman has an affair with a married man, she usually won't leave her home if the man doesn't leave his wife. He has probably told her he was going to leave, but can't yet because of the kids or some other lamebrain excuse that women fall for.
So, instead of going on vacation alone, she gets you to tag along as her puppy. Still hoping she would want you back.
I know you don't want to hear this, but the best way to get them back is to bring another woman into the picture. Works great, works fast and usually straightens them out for good. She won't be breaking up with you wanting to be "friends" ever again. You already allowed her to do it once. Now this is twice..
First time.. Shame on her .. This time shame on you.
Look.. Get some backbone. Get some confidence... Let her think you are over her and are EXCITED about the new dating world that is out there for YOU.... Works like a charm. Better than hanging around hoping, and moping and being all faithful and in check while she eats all the cake.
Backbone is a requirement.
Grow a spine and start to stand up for yourself. It’s impossible to truly love yourself & draw self esteem from within if you are letting people walk all over you. Every time you let someone treat you badly your self esteem drops just a little bit.
How much do you respect yourself? Do you respect yourself enough to let go of the people that don't value you or the relationship they have with you? Because if you cling (as in to be "clingy") to someone who doesn't want you, it communicates that you don't respect yourself that much and that you don't value yourself. If you don't respect yourself that much, how can she respect you? Answer... She can't. She has to respect you to want you, to love you, to be with you.
Start with that backbone, grow one, it will improve your posture, you will start to stand tall, you will hold your head up higher, you will learn that the air up there is better, you will start to wake up because of all this new oxygen you're breathing and all things good will flow from there ;-)
"Interesting though, that EVEN though he told you straight up all of those things that you say he said to you, that you are no differeent than the others. You are STILL trying to win him back. What does it take for a WS to tell a BS that it is OVER and for the BS to get it and give up????? "
WOW, the 2x4 method.
NO Different than the others? By others I guess you mean all of us who think there may still be hope. Then why are we all here DBing and 180ing our butts off? Why are YOU here?
I get what H said loud and clear. it hurt, but I get it. There are days I agree, we should split. Then other days, I think the opposite. I don't however, buy into tossing away a M because it's the best way to "get rid of the problem", IE the spouse. The whole point of DB and 180 is to "change" for ourselves, and IF a WAS does get a grip on their need to be "free" (doesn't anyone realize free isn't FREE), of the "beast of burden", then a DIFFERENT M may work.
It's all a crap shoot and full of it at best. But I will know in a few months that I did all I could to save a failing M. There is NO shame in that.
If I may respectfully add, your posts sound a bit angry and discouraged.No offense meant there friend
