My UFO (unbelievably fabulous observations)

[hoosiermama]

well, there are a couple of complicating factors. First is that he agreed to pay the majority of joint debt (because he ran up most of it) and I did not have to buy my half of the house from him (nor could I)--and that was a factor in the CS negotiations at the time of mediation (whether or not it should have been). The other factor is her tuition, which he's paying 60% of while I'm paying 40% because of our discrepancy in income. And that CAN factor into CS payments. And the number of days of overnight visitation also get calculated in--and she's with him 3 nights a week at her request (and I haven't been inclined to push her on that, since she has had so little voice in all of this). So unfortunately it's not as simple as the basic CS calculation because of tuition. My lawyer predicted this would happen. However, I'm still not going to roll over; the plan has always been for D14 to attend this school, and her plans should not be altered because of changes in xH's life--he should be the one altering plans, not D14.

I know it's not about making him pay for his choices--but it's about that last statement in the above paragraph: his decisions should not alter her resources, they should alter his. She should not have a lower standard of living. That's not how it's worked out. And while that sounds somewhat philosophical, it does get played out--judges don't care if a father has to pay the majority of his income for support, the childrens' welfare takes priority.