My feelings go back and forth to wanting to fight to accepting letting go. It's the uncertainty of letting go that makes it difficult.
I don't know if I will ever know about the demons my W is fighting. But it's clear that she is. People ask me if she thinks about her wedding vows? Her family? Her children? I can only say, "What would you say?" She's not. She is trying to escape. She needs to find happiness.
I truly hope she finds it, and I also hope that she rediscovers something in me or our family that makes her think and act differently. I feel my W is so "out there" and confused and depressed, and I know I can't save her as much as I wish I could. She reads Vampire Diaries, Twilight series, and watches it every single time it comes on cable. I mean, she has gone so dark. Nothing inspirational or positive seems to affect her in any way.
