I too went nuts looking for it--but the "signs" just aren't there--the mad testing/phone calls, emails--nothing. He can barely type, he is depressed, has gained weight, is supsicious of strangers--unless someone REALLY came on strong, he wouldn't respond. And he is suspicious of people that DO come on strong....
I sometimes don't know how *I* got him!lol.
you and i are alike .. even in the mistakes we make! lol.
but you are ahead of me. you've seen this before so you have a good perspective. how you managed to get your h to tell you what was going on in his head the first time around, is impressive. that's like getting the caramilk secret.
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They say that about 10% of the truth darts will "stick" if there is no affair, and if there IS one, the percentage is miniscule. I NEED my darts to stick!!
so what you're saying is that i need to throw a lot of truth darts.
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If he says yes, just quietly say "OK" or whatever and come back here and scream!lol. He didn't "win", you didn't "lose". You know the truth, which is FAR BETTER than what you are doing to yourself.
the thing is .. the competitive person in me would be one who would go out and cheat before him because he was going to cheat on me anyway. i have to do it before he does - already assuming that he would. that kind of competitive mentality. but i stop myself from doing that. it would make me the lesser person. it wouldn't solve anything.
that's why in the earlier posts, you hear me rant on how i should just go out and find someone. as if drinking poison was going to kill him. but really, it would kill me. the effect on me would be worse. and i thank everyone for stopping me from doing crazy things like that.
