I finally read all the way through your thread. I have some observations:
1) Fathers day? That is freaking heartless. Only somebody truly self centered (or mean spirited) could do that to their mate.
2) I am inspired by your struggle to beat cancer (and the others who've chimed in). Survivors all.
3) You may be too close to it, but if you could objectively go back and read your body of work, you would see how very far you've come. Be proud of yourself.
Keep it up. Write that damn book! Force yourself to start it. As you create your story and get involved in the lives of your fictional charachters, it will allow you to escape into a world where you control EVERYTHING. It will be good for the soul. I know it will be hard to focus, but you know what? It ws hard to detach. It was hard to do 180s. It was hard to GAL. It was hard to drop the rope in every way, and you, like the rest of us, will be struggling to maintain that for a long time. But you did all those things and they all brought you peace. They all made you stronger. They made you better.
If you can accomplish all that, forcing yourself to do something you love and have always wanted to do will be a piece of cake.
Go back and read "Oh the Places You'll Go". I really loved that Coach took the time to type the whole thing in. I was at work when I read it. It was a staple of the bedtime rotation when my kids were younger.
Get out of the waiting place.
Cheers,
ADAPT. OVERCOME. IMPROVISE. -Tom Highway
Me: 43 W: 40 S12 & S9 Married 17yrs Together 20yrs