Hey Eric, Cat, Lance and and all other sages, I've had these questions posed to me by another wise member of this forum, however, I'm not sure I have these answers.
That is why you are here.....correct ?
Originally Posted By: CNS
Who doesn't want to be more self assured - especially during a crisis?
Traditionally, the people that want to play the Victim...
Originally Posted By: CNS
My priority is to be the best Dad I can be. To create a legacy for my kids to emulate. I don't want to be remembered for a beautiful home and weekends inside Home Depot.
Maybe you should try just being a person first. Spend that time in your SuperDad cape trying to find out who you are. I can tell you that unless you know who you are, you will be nothing for them. The things you list below....That is the "legacy" ?
Your insecurities ? Your anger ? Your self consciousness ?
Doesn't sound like a legacy to be emulated to me....
Originally Posted By: CNS
I don't have dreams. I try to make the most of what is available daily. I am realizing all the trips in Outside Magazine I covet are likely now out of my reach. How do I balance my personal needs with those of my kids?
Dreams are yours....and I don't believe you "don't" have them...you are here aren't you ?
Balancing Parenting and career, and personal growth are things Parents do in a healthy relationship. To struggle at times like this is understandable. Truth is, you probably wouldn't even consider that if not for the Bomb....
Originally Posted By: CNS
I don't consider myself selfish, but I have alot of other things to do before submitting to the status quo.
Like what ?
Originally Posted By: CNS
More about me... My friends turned on me to advance their own social agendas when graduating to high school. I'm still pissed off about that. I was too skinny and self conscious to play football, but have spent the intervening years getting bigger and playing violent sports as an outlet for the rage. I'm mad. Always have been. Why don't f#ckers just follow the rules? I'm 42 and prefer metal to all other music. I have the capacity to love alot, but I don't trust. I am intensely loyal though once commmitted. It just takes some time to get there. I think I intimidate people with my physical presence sometimes.
I may have been more "pissed" about having my social agenda revolve around my friends instead of myself.
Sounds like a victim role to me.
The things you listed there, they are a part of who you are, and you should embrace those things instead of defending those things.
Physical presence ? Those kinds of assumptions will carry a long way in your own mind. Not so much when trying to assess what another person thinks or feels.
Originally Posted By: CNS
I've earned an MBA and am employed by a great conservative company, I do the suit thing very well, but am uncertain about my path. I make a living with numbers, but am inspired by using my hands to make stuff - landscaping, furniture, art. My misgivings about my job have prevented me from being truly financially successful, but I do OK by many standards. That should begin to color the picture a bit..
Sadly, the picture it starts to paint is a lot of self doubt.
The first step on a long journey is the hardest. Have you taken that step ? I mean really taken that step ?
How is the reading the resources coming along ?
You can take from here, whatever it is that you are looking for.
Truth is ?
Unless YOU decide to become "Unstuck" , you can become that for a lifetime.
These things that you do during your time here, IF you choose to do the work, can have an impact on you for a lifetime.
These are all your choices to make.
Face your demons ?
Stare down the monsters that hold you from truly being you, or choose to remain Crushed and Stuck.
There are no guarantees that you marriage will survive this. I'm not gonna blow sunshine up your skirt there. Just that YOU will come through this a better man.
Read all that you can about MLC, and really get a firm grip on your enemy.
Post to others to gain perspective, and insight to your own situation. Ask questions and really LISTEN to the answers.
If somebody says something that "stings", you might want to look at that inside of yourself.
