She's in MLC, but I was weak. Now what?

[MHL]

Now for the poking some things you may want to think about while doing the little exercise above.

I am realizing all the trips in Outside Magazine I covet are likely now out of my reach. How do I balance my personal needs with those of my kids?

Why are the trips out of reach, CNS these are your dreams, wants and desires. The ONLY reason they are not possible is because you do not think they are possible.

Your personal needs come before the needs of your kids depending on what they are.

Do you want your kids to pursue their dreams? DUH

Would you ever tell your D or S not to go after being an astronaut, doctor, teacher, BMX dirt biker, whatever they wanted?

That is what you are communicating to them by not going after your dreams. You want to go on an African Safari, great go for it, you may never get there but you will have tried. Don't you want to instill that spirit in your kids.

I've earned an MBA and am employed by a great conservative company, I do the suit thing very well, but am uncertain about my path. I make a living with numbers, but am inspired by using my hands to make stuff - landscaping, furniture, art. My misgivings about my job have prevented me from being truly financially successful, but I do OK by many standards.

More poking, You've earned an MBA, gotta use it right??? says who?? Don't like job or don't love your job could impact other areas of your life.....like your marriage???? Are you wrestling the monster of making enough money versus doing what you really want to do?? Is what you would rather be doing more of a hobby or is it a career desire?

You are asking yourself the right questions......start to answer them.

Forget that your W is not in the picture. You do not need her to pursue these things. You did not pursue them when you had her so what is holding you back now?

Could be pursueing YOUR life is what attracted your W to you in the first place, stop pursueing YOUR LIFE could possibly lead to loosing YOUR WIFE?????

and playing violent sports as an outlet for the rage. I'm mad. Always have been. Why don't f#ckers just follow the rules?

Control issue here, plain as day, you can see that. If everyone played by the rules, like you do, it would all be FAIR, Right????

Wrong. and you know that....then why are you really Mad????

Peel the onion.