I just want to STOP thinking about all the stuff that I want to have happen with our Marriage. Man, if I could just do that ONE thing, I'd be so much better off. The problem for me is that this whole R thing has left our marriage so unsettled, and because my M is such an important part of my life, it's affecting every other part of my life. I just feel that if I could feel better about what's happening with my M, the other parts would naturally fall into place. But I don't know how to do it..and the fear..the fear is eating me alive. I never knew how afraid I was..and when I really think about it..I have been for as long as I can remember. It's what's driving all of my behavior..good and bad..mostly the bad.
