New Game- Exposed

[Quicksilver264]

Introspection is good, but at this (still early) stage, ACTION is more important.

And I'll add the RIGHT ACTION is most important DESPITE what you are FEELING.

Look at me just a month ago. ALL OVER the place, but I mostly took the right actions. I just fell apart when no one was around.

[CD Bear]

PEI, a couple of things back.

Reciprocal is just conditional on it being reciprocated. Think about the difference between unconditional love and conditional marriage. We don't love our kids only if they promise to love us back? Or our parents

That is my point, though. there HAS to be "something' that you get from loving but it doesn't HAVE to be love. I love mt D because she is my D; she makes me laugh; I love marvelling at her development and how she learns. And, yeah, I get hugs and kisses. But I GET something. And that's my "condition". As she grows and she rebels, I may not get love or hugs. But I will still get "satisfaction"; "the knowledge I am doing the best for my D"; and hopefully an invitation (at least the bill) for her wedding. And hopefully she will develop the same love for me. I will be old; and possibly frail; or even dead. But if she feels the appreciation for what I tried to do for her and it's important to her, then she gets what SHE needs 'reciprocally'-even if I'm not physically here to love her back.

You mention that you are having trouble with the anger and resentment pieces. Please, do not make any decisions or choices while you are struggling with this

The anger and resentment were earlier in the situation. I am MUCH farther removed as evidenced in my topics of conversation. Far more isolated and detached. And more compassionate and empathetic towrds my W. My initial "detachment" was 'short, terse and almost cold'. I am past that now.

I have no intention of filing any paperwork or doing anything other than living my life. I'm going to take responsibility for my choices and leave him to do the same.

Unfortunately, though I agree that she is free to live her life and make her choices just as I am dong mine, I HAVE to move on the Separation Agreement to stop her Cake-Eating and protect myself and my daughter from her spending and irrsponsible behaviors (that affect D and/or me). She is doing nothing about the Separation. I will not, however, be the one to send the Sep Papers to Queen's Bench unless I am completely done and HAVE to move forward as you prescribe below-

...someday when you can honestly look in the mirror and say for sure that your choice to let go (is based on) love and not in anger or because of a damaged ego ... you'll know. Absolutely work to get back that man she fell in love with, but do it because it was true to your core ... because you liked who you were then. Do it for you, regardless of the potential outcome of your current sitch.

Sorry to hear you had to live here. When W and I were expecting D, we made the conscious decision to move 30 minutes east. It's like camping in a big house. Quiet, relaxing and friendly. Like PEI.

[CD Bear]

The bottom line is actions, not feelings on the issue. That's the true test of maturity - which is what WAS's lack. What you do is more important than how you feel right now.

Interesting how this line stuck out to everyone.

I also made a note of it.

Put it in my Berry for reference.

Should write it on my hand (or forehead)

[CD Bear]

And it's the introspection that helps you understand and then KNOW what the RIGHT action is.

Right for YOU!!

[SunnyD]

Glad to be of service this morning!
:-)

Or afternoon.

lol

[CD Bear]

You always brighten my day.
Just like 'Sunshine'

Thanks.

(How could I NOT reference 'Sunny' in my answer?)

[PEI]

Hey Bear ...

Not much time ... but just wanted to say that yes, I agree, to protect yourself and your D sometimes the legalities must begin. Do what is right by your D and you'll be ok.

Quiet, relaxing and friendly. Like PEI.

Ahhh ... so you've been here

PEI

[CD Bear]

I spent a week in NS (Yarmouth area) in 2008.
Loved it.

When I spoke of it to Maritimers out here, all they could say was "..then you should try PEI"

[SunnyD]

You always brighten my day.
Just like 'Sunshine'

Thanks.

(How could I NOT reference 'Sunny' in my answer?)

LOL

I try to spread encouragement when I can - hence the name Sunny!

Good point about the introspection. It's a fine line. It can drive you crazy if you think too much, but you do have to think some, obviously!

[steady]

Wow, fast moving thread these past few days. Have a nice weekend.