Irish, I found your new thread and was reading it thru and got stuck on page 2. I was able to read most of it tho.
I just wanted to say that I think you are handling all this exteremly well. The talks you have with your son have been fantastic. The fact that you are not running down your H to your S is such a good thing. My first H did that to my kids when we split up and it had a devastating effect on them. So, good for you. I also think that this is so bonding for you and your son. He will grow up to know what kind of man he wants to be and I'm glad you have him now to walk thru this with you..even tho I'm sure it hurts you to see him be hurt by it.
I know this stuff is hard, and you talked about emotionally detaching..I have not figured out how to do that either. How do you stop the thoughts of them? the questions about why, what can I do differently..etc? There are people here who can help with that.
I have found that Life is a journey. Sometimes we encounter really big bumps, deep holes, and gigantic ruts in the road. So, we have to walk around them, and that takes us to places we would not have ordinarliy gone..off the beaten path. And we see and experience some things that change our lives forever. I have always felt that the bigger the detour is, the more I grow, the more I learn. I've actually asked God if He could possibly teach me those lessons without all the pain, but so far He hasn't changed the approach. So, since He knows what's best for me, I just ask Him for his strength, support and guidance to find my way and learn what He is trying to teach me. Sometimes I have to do the lesson over again a couple of times before I figure it out. And then I'm so glad when I move on to the next lesson.
I'm struggling a little right now too. Things are going ok here. My H is being nice, he's trying..we saw a great new MC on Monday and have been using some of the tools for communication he suggested. But for some reason, I had a weird meltdown last night and cried my little heart out to my H. I don't know how it started or what happened, but I mentioned that we couldn't get back in to see this new MC until Aug 25 and then he said that was ok cause we were doing ok, moving ahead..and the next thing I know he's yelling at me to "Get off his ass!!" I felt so hurt and misunderstood, I just caved in and spilled my guts to him about all my fears and confusion. My eyes are still swollen. I spent the whole night laying in bed trying to figure out what was said to get to that point..and then had to take a sleeping pill at 4:00 this morning cuz I couldn't shut off my brain. If the word my H uses to describe himself is "resentment", then mine is "fear"..and I can't seem to get a handle on it.
So..don't feel like the lone ranger. And don't worry..we'll get thru this together, you and I and lots of others on this board. Hang in there Irish..you're a good person.
