Start of the end..

[iwantittowork]

Hello all, and thanks for checking on me bj and gardener.

I stopped by to actually ask a question, and I will update a bit, and then try and catch up on your sitches.

Question: My sister and brother in law are on the verge of separation and D. I have been talking with both of them, trying to get them some help, based on what I have learned here and elsewhere, but they just seem to be stuck in a downward spiral and neither wants to make a move forward vs splitting up. They were teenage sweathearts, and married for over 20 years, with a 13 year old daughter now. I have sent my sister info from here, and asked her to stop by, but she has not, which is too bad. I was hoping that I may be able to fine a 'reconciliation' story from someone here that I could send her in email, so that she knows that it CAN be worked out, vs just saying it's over. Any thoughts on a possible good one to send her? There is no infidelity, but my brother in law does have some alcohol problems, that are just being exacerbated by the situation they are in. It's breaking my heart, neither one of them wants to truly D, if you aske them separately, but they just won't move in the right direction vs arguing, focusing on the negative, etc.

Any advice, or stories that I could send them?

On to my updates:

Boy did Anger show up big time in the past month or so. My STBXW is taking me to court for emergency orders to say that I am disposing of marital assets, then at pre-trial followup her attorney filed a filing with the court that is just full of lies, and is now forcing me to answer 'interrogetories' of ridiculous nature, such as "List out all personal property you have that is valued at over $100 dollars" My attorney is objecting, but it is just ridiculous I am on the defense big time, and costing us a fortune in lawyer fees.

At the same time, my STBXW is emailing me asking for money for my D9 to give her art classes and kayak lessons, stating she has absolutely no money. Sadly, I have stopped replying to these types of emails, as she has burned any last bridges with me financially with this crap. I am fighting off bankruptcy and figuring out how to make rent payments with where the court has me, and have my own problems making sure my D9 is taken care of, so she is on her own. I will pay her what the court decides, and it is up to her now to do what she sees fit with her money while she has d9. I literally just took two days off of work to write a 10 page Microsoft Word document response to her Legal questions. And I have 2 other requests and document discovery to still go through!!!! Ugh!!!

And in the midst of all this, I have been working on myself, and seeing life in new ways, truly, and spending time with a women whom I didn't expect in my life. I spend my time in the present, and have stopped as much as possible living in the past, or projecting into the future, and that has brought me some immense happiness at the same time as financial ruin and an unknown future. The irony or dichotomy, or whatever you want to call it, has not been lost on me.

It didn't even dawn on me how happy I have been, until a friend of mine posted a picture of me on a facebook page that so startled me, and was so shocking, I couldn't believe it. You could tell in the photo that I was actually, 100 percent, truly happy with this huge smile and just enjoying myself, and the photo brought back the feeling of that moment and I was amazed.

It is possible to be happy, all of us have it in us, regardless of where we find ourselves in a given moment in time.

I will check in with your sitches, and hope to catch back up with some of you, and wish blessings to you all!!!

IWITW