Yeah I need to not do that. The best part is that he told me she told him she was in a relationship with someone afterward. (he never mentioned being married).
Gah. I just wish this whole saga was over and fast. My mother made a comment to me that my sis is tired of hearing about all this. good to know. I need to STFU and move on. Seriously. The sooner the better.
He sounds like a jerk. You deserve better. I think you should start "no contact," especially if he's tormenting you with details of his adulterous sex life. tell him that if he wants to get a hold of you about the divorce, have him talk to your attorney. Is your state a "no fault" state? If it is, there might be more of a struggle. If its not, then you can play the infidelity card and take him for everything!!
I think you should tell people, sooner rather than later. It'll help you move closer to acceptance and then you'll have support from people who love you. When I finally started telling some of my people at work, I was amazed on the amount of people who were personally or knew someone going through the same thing. These times really differentiate who your real friends are. Your H has failed you as a friend. Finding the real friends would be helpful.
I'm sorry to say that it won't be over fast. You can always hope for it but most Ds take at least 90 days and it'll take longer than that to recover from this. Take care of yourself. Do things that make you happy and avoid him all you can.
Stay positive! You're doing great!
When you are happy as an individual, you are in a better position to determine whether a partner enhances your happy life or weighs it down.
He sounds like a jerk. You deserve better. I think you should start "no contact," especially if he's tormenting you with details of his adulterous sex life. tell him that if he wants to get a hold of you about the divorce, have him talk to your attorney. Is your state a "no fault" state? If it is, there might be more of a struggle. If its not, then you can play the infidelity card and take him for everything!!
I think you should tell people, sooner rather than later. It'll help you move closer to acceptance and then you'll have support from people who love you. When I finally started telling some of my people at work, I was amazed on the amount of people who were personally or knew someone going through the same thing. These times really differentiate who your real friends are. Your H has failed you as a friend. Finding the real friends would be helpful.
I'm sorry to say that it won't be over fast. You can always hope for it but most Ds take at least 90 days and it'll take longer than that to recover from this. Take care of yourself. Do things that make you happy and avoid him all you can.
Stay positive! You're doing great!
When you are happy as an individual, you are in a better position to determine whether a partner enhances your happy life or weighs it down.
When my W told me about her PA I felt a sudden rage, sadness and just like having no energy all within a few seconds as I tried to absorb what I just heard. I wanted to know EVERY detail but I told her 'thanks for telling me and even if I ask you for details please don't tell me' she agreed and while I never asked but I wondered about it. Thankfully I could walk away saying 'R you're just imagining things you don't know what happened'. And at least my W was nice enough to say that it sucked and she felt terrible about it...
Sol, CG, stop playing it like a video in your head over and over you'll drive yourselves nuts. I know it's easier for me to say it and I used to do the same but we must (and we all do) reach that point of acceptance that it happened and it's no way representative of YOU only THEM.
You're right time to move on Sol! Begin telling your folks? For me it wasn't that big a deal, I told my sis on the phone first then within a few hours my brother emailed me about it and the next thing I knew I was talking to my mom and dad about it. It actually sucked because they were really sad about it and it hurt me more to see them sad than myself- as if I let them down. Of course, it wasn't me and they were sad that it turned out that way.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
Ha! I don't play the video in my head (dull movies bore me!, lol!). But I do know when I first heard this it was horrifying. And it's downright cruel for a cheating spouse to even say such a thing.
LOL, Purple. And yes, it doesn't make me feel better.
I have felt extremely depressed this week. It really sucks. I dont know how long I will be like this but I am seriously tired of feeling this way. I can't remember the last time I felt happy and I used to consider myself a "happy" person. This feels like such a blow. Like I am regressing in life?
One great thing is that I finished up my summer semester of school yesterday. Last lab and class. Thank God. I have 2 weeks of time off before the fall semester starts.
Going to see L after work today. Should be interesting. I am thisclose to just signing house over to STBX and being done with it. I don't feel like fighting in court and spending money for a D that I didn't file anyway.
I was praying this morning for God to please guide me and to get out of this depression. It seems unending. Miserable. My sis told me if she were me that she'd be going on "lots of dates." Yeah right. I have ZERO desire for 'dating.'
I can understand how you're feeling. This whole thing just sucks no matter how you slice it. I get that but don't make any rash decisions. Just go have a discussion with the L, think about it, post it here and then make an informed decision. Yes it may sound like a pain in the back and it is but it's the right way to do it.
You should also make an appt with your doc and see if they can give you an AD. If nothing else you can try SAM-E or St. John Worth supplement. They're both over the counter ADs- not as effective but have helped people here. Sunlight's good too so take an afternoon walk after lunch if you can. Get yourself involved in some activities that you like to do. Take a class etc. These are much better options than trying to jump in the dating scene so soon.
You'll be fine- just remember this is a process and to get to the end of this process you must go through these phases you're going through.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
No, you're going through hell on the roller coaster. But I'd suggest seeing your Dr. about depression and AD meds. You'll welcome the relief, trust me.
Peace,
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
