Thanks,TG
It was a toughie,alright. The age stuff "stung".

But I liked this:
Originally Posted By: Gritter

...looking at my M and examining what love does mean to me.
Remember we can read something and think it sounds like what we believe..
When we experience life good and bad we learn.


And THIS one was even better:
Originally Posted By: Gritter

I stand for my M not because I am holding on to something I need to let go
I am doing it for me and what I believe in.
What am I if my words are not backed up by my actions?
Why would I want to be with someone who doesn't want me back?
I am not measuring my self worth on whether my confused and scared wife wants me back right now.I am living what I believe by MY actions NOT the actions of another...


And here again:
Originally Posted By: Gritter

If you let self doubt that is created and reinforced by others (including W) guide you
You confirm that weekness in yourself. Then you are that weakness.
When you come from your core.
When you stand for your beliefs and yourself
REGARDLESS
Of the outcome.


This last one, to me, contains the pieces I was "softening on" in the earlier debates that Gucci had such a valid issue with.

Inherent in my redicoverd core, by examining the marriage, I have found some of the/MY weaknesses.
-Lack of boundaries
-Taking my eyes off the ball (our "love", our "needs")
-Presuming she had the same level of maturity and commitment I did. Not her fault. It can be age related. But I should have recognized that and taken up some of the load
-Sacrificing my self-respect from fear of conflict (double whammy)
-Realizing that that if I had "stood then" I likely wouldn't have to be "standing" now.
-Not expressing "my needs" and not "understanding/digging for hers"

There is and likely will be more to add but these are the mains.


I'm feeling stronger today.
Reading PEI's thread helped, too.