Made a huge mistake today. After my wife left for her workout at the Y, I rolled over onto her side of the bed. Her pillow had this wonderful smell, a mix of her perfume, shampoo, everything good. I rolled my face in it for a few minutes becoming intoxicated. God I miss her...
God be with you all. Pinhead
Rather than miss her, think of it as something you have to look forward to. The mind is a powerful tool. Project that you'll have that smell next to you and with you soon enough, and it will. Set a goal.
My counselor said that I'm a hopeless romantic, and that she is a cynical romantic. In his words, a perfect match. When I told him her long running joke that she "married my stalker" he said that's exactly what she wanted, someone to throw all caution and fear to the wind for her.
Of course that's not the appropriate course of action now... :0
Made a huge mistake today. After my wife left for her workout at the Y, I rolled over onto her side of the bed. Her pillow had this wonderful smell, a mix of her perfume, shampoo, everything good. I rolled my face in it for a few minutes becoming intoxicated. God I miss her...
God be with you all. Pinhead
Rather than miss her, think of it as something you have to look forward to. The mind is a powerful tool. Project that you'll have that smell next to you and with you soon enough, and it will. Set a goal.
My counselor said that I'm a hopeless romantic, and that she is a cynical romantic. In his words, a perfect match. When I told him her long running joke that she "married my stalker" he said that's exactly what she wanted, someone to throw all caution and fear to the wind for her.
Of course that's not the appropriate course of action now... :0
Man, I wish my wife was romantic in even the least. I'm the hopeless romantic too Pinhead. But, I can't think of anything in the entire of our R that she's really ever done that's romantic. She's a particularly hard person to get close to.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
And I'm trying to focus on what she does more than what she says... Remember the truism; Pay attention to nothing they say, and only half of what they do.
That is not a truism that is bad advice. Most of the men and women that preach this nonsense are the ones who ignore the fact their spouses are sleeping with someone else but dwell on the fact that they accidently brush against them. They are paying attention to the wrong half of the equation.
It as much a matter of interpretation as it is knowing what makes up the equation.
I also noticed that many, many of those that say they will not "date" are those that do not know how to date their wives.
"she's said me touching her is like her brother touching her."
Well, your example actually supported the truism. If my W is having an affair, that's an action. I would pay attention to that. Instead, I paid attention to what she was saying, and became paranoid over a non-existent OP. You may not like the advice I was given, but your attempt to discredit it is really an ad hominem attack on other posters.
And your line about "those that say they will not "date""
It's nice to know that you have such deep insight into people's abilities based on what you read in forum posts.
Do me a favor. Your advice is unkind and unwanted.
her pillow had this wonderful smell, a mix of her perfume, shampoo, everything good. I rolled my face in it for a few minutes becoming intoxicated. God I miss her...
Pinhead, I know that feeling well. While we no longer sleep in the same bed, she still gets ready for work in the master bath. Since I am home I end up in the master bedroom for one reason or another and I can still smell the fragrance of my wife...it is very hard to stand some days, others it's comforting that there is at least one little thing I recognize about her. I will certainly miss that once we sell and go our seperate ways.
I finally read all the way through your thread. I have some observations:
1) Fathers day? That is freaking heartless. Only somebody truly self centered (or mean spirited) could do that to their mate.
2) I am inspired by your struggle to beat cancer (and the others who've chimed in). Survivors all.
3) You may be too close to it, but if you could objectively go back and read your body of work, you would see how very far you've come. Be proud of yourself.
Keep it up. Write that damn book! Force yourself to start it. As you create your story and get involved in the lives of your fictional charachters, it will allow you to escape into a world where you control EVERYTHING. It will be good for the soul. I know it will be hard to focus, but you know what? It ws hard to detach. It was hard to do 180s. It was hard to GAL. It was hard to drop the rope in every way, and you, like the rest of us, will be struggling to maintain that for a long time. But you did all those things and they all brought you peace. They all made you stronger. They made you better.
If you can accomplish all that, forcing yourself to do something you love and have always wanted to do will be a piece of cake.
Go back and read "Oh the Places You'll Go". I really loved that Coach took the time to type the whole thing in. I was at work when I read it. It was a staple of the bedtime rotation when my kids were younger.
Get out of the waiting place.
Cheers,
ADAPT. OVERCOME. IMPROVISE. -Tom Highway
Me: 43 W: 40 S12 & S9 Married 17yrs Together 20yrs
