New here but learning slowly. Advice appreciated

[Albuquerque]

This situation is definitely weighing heavily on my mind recently. He's mentioned a few times that we need to "formalize" the financial arrangments. So far, he deposits most of his money in our joint account. The few times he's said we need to discuss formalizing stuff, I've said, OK let me know when. But he hasn't done anything. More recently he's discussed needing to separate finances. I don't really have a problem with that since he IS spending a lot of his money on trips to/with OW. But that's not an easy endeavor if we're going to do it officially and I once again told him to "let me know". But of course, no movement. However, although he got paid on Monday, he still hasn't deposited any money. I've delayed asking since I'm OK for the short term and didn't want to contact for no reason or seem needy. But it's getting important now. I had a nightmare last night that woke me up. He was telling me he wasn't going to give me any of his money any longer, I was on my own. And then he said "bet you wish you'd gotten your degree in Computer Science". It was a weird dream and it made it hard to back to sleep. Also ironic since I'M the one with advanced degrees and he's self taught. But he's correct that since he's in the computer science field, he DOES make significantly more than I ever will.
It bothers me that I'm so dependent on him financially. I can see him pulling away more and more and I know that finances are going to be problematic. I DO have the ability to make more, but it requires working some crappy hours that would result in my having child care issues. My daughter is 13 so doesn't really need to be "watched" necessarily, but I'd have trouble taking her to and from school etc. I have tried to stop asking H to watch D when I need to work unless absolutely necessary. But unfortunately, it still happens quite often. Not having any family around is definitely problematic. Nothing is easy....