Not sure where to start, or end. WAW?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

LET HER PURSUE YOU!!!

Mark my words, you go all "needy/grabby", "melty man" on her, you're going to blow it.

Confident . . . busy . . . happy.

Puppy

[MarkIII]

Well my stbx has added her man friend back again. I'm still working on the 180 but I never have patients. I got this six sense she is never coming back and I should just give up. We go to a 4 way mediation on the 11th would it be wise to expose her little EA?
Or just go in for the business?

Thanks for any advise and support

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Mark, you should post this on your own thread, and not hijack John's.

Puppy

[john28]

Mark - you're part of the Father's Day bomb club too? What the F.... that's 4 of us now I can count.

[john28]

Well - she's driving home. That's a good sign, I mean it could be worse, she could have stayed at MIL indefinitely with S4 if she really didn't want to work on this M. I talked to her a little bit about her drive, she's going to be home around 6pm EST. God help me...

[pinhead]

John, keep counting the good signs. Optimism is essential for anyone here on this board who really wants the best results. It's too easy to find pessimism and bitterness.

Oh, and I would give up all my possessions to have my wife say ILY, just once. So count that as a huge win.

[john28]

We've talked several times while she is on the road, hit some traffic and she's due home at 7:30pm EST. When she used to drive long distances like this I wouldn't make time to talk to her on the phone and break the drive up and help her - I am now. We've laughed a few times on the phone, like old times, she told me a funny story and laughed with me.

2.5 hours and I find out who this person walking in my house is again... will it be a W that's closer or further away from me? I don't know. I've given her 10 days away. Who knows. The anticipation is killing me.

[john28]

Well, in the spirit of letting her pursue me, I've done absolutely everything possible for when she walks in the door without looking like I'm pursuing her.

The house is spotless. Even she'll be impressed.
The driveway is swept.
Grass is mown nicely.
Bought her a few things for the bathroom, toothpaste, brush, etc. to let her know I thought about her while I was shopping the other day.
I'm dressed in a really nice setup, jeans and dress shirt (hey, it's jean friday at work, right?)


We'll see how it goes! I guess if anything I want her to see that I can survive just fine on my own, that I'm a strong individual and confident. And damnit, I feel that way right now. I'm not going to let her take that away from me.

[john28]

Well, Sh1t.

She got home, and gave me a hug and kiss! But, it all went to crap from there. I put S4 to bed and asked if she wanted to play cards she said yes.

We didn't make it through the first hand before she pulled me into R talk. Damnit, I let myself be sucked into. She claimed that she heard that I had talked about our sitch with one of my best friends, and that she was angry that I told them about the A. I didn't know how she could know that - my friend is loyal as anything, but I admitted that I talked to him. She said I was a liar and that I was no better than her talking to others about our R pre-bomb. She claimed she heard it not from my friend, but from someone else that I had blabbed about our sitch.

Well, she stormed out. Left. Said she was going out for awhile and needed space. She'd only been home 1.5 hours. This is ridiculous. So, I called my friend. He swears to me he said nothing to anyone, and this is the most trustworthy person that I know. This is hurtful.

I'm starting to suspect she picked this fight just so she could go see OM.... I'm flipping out.

[TimeHeals]

Well John,

You never lied, you weren't confiding to another woman, so why were you aplogizing? She's having the affair, not you. It's her dirty, little secret, not yours.

It's her mess, you cannot clean it up.