I think, through all this, I've held on to the belief that deep down inside my H still loved me. How could he not? I've been and done everything for him. We've had a lovely family,looking forward to retirement, etc.
It just suddenly become so apparent that he doesn't give a tinker's damn about me or anyone else. That's not anger, just fact. No matter what my intelligent mind tells me is true, don't we all just think "What is wrong with me? Why doesn't he love me?" No, I can't control him. No, I can't fix him. No, I can't make him love me anymore.
Instead of standing for my marriage, I'm just holding out for benefits because that's all I have to hang onto anymore. What does that make me?
