Sorry to hear the news. Remember, the point of communication is to change YOU, not him. So, tell him what you want to. But PLEASE don't find his plane ticket. Geez. You don't have to swallow this and act like everything is great. It isn't. And, remember, email works.
"Gabe,
Given our conversation today, I see that our current romantic relationship has reached its end. I’m saddened and disappointed, I had hoped to build a great new relationship with you that worked for all of us, but things did not work out that way. I will be fine. I chose to take the emotional risk and it didn't pay off this time for me. I hope you find stability and happiness in California.
That being said, given our relationship is over, it does not work for me to take care of your plane ticket or other personal needs. I require my own emotional and physical space. It is not fair to me or Marc or you to allow our current arrangement to continue – it is clear that Marc and I both want more from you than you want to share. That isn’t good for anyone. We need to go to a strictly business/co-parent relationship ASAP. So, it is important that you find elsewhere to stay immediately while you make your other travel arrangements.
Please take some time to talk to Marc. He will likely feel very hurt and lost as he has really thrived with your presence. So, whatever love and support you can share with him would be great."
Exactly that. I am sorry it has come to this. seems like some people feel that a new location will fix their problems and don't want to face up to the fact that the problems are within themselves.
You will get through this and we are all still here for you.
Big hugs. (((((Mish)))))
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Mish, Gabe is running... Not away from you, away from the things he cant deal/handle. Open the door and let him run. Speak up and stand strong. And yes, of course we are all here for you, xxx K
Mish - I am so sorry, but ditto what all have said. This man has no idea what he has right in front of him...I don't think he will realize it until he is truly away from you (without you trying to "fix" the relationship).
Sometimes the realization of our worse fears releases us - we come to find that we are stronger than we ever knew we could be, that things can go beyond recovering our balance to being better than they ever were before.....
Thank you guys. I can't express how much your support and encouragement means to me. It's a great comfort.
He has been texting and calling me at every opportunity all afternoon. He's crying, practically suicidal, and flat out asked me to please help him get through this. He doesn't know what is wrong with him. He won't go to counseling right now, I have no idea what else to suggest.
He actually said that if it were possible, he thinks he has menopause. Frankly, he's acting like it!
When he calms down a little more I'm going to have to lay it on him. I don't deserve this craziness and back and forth on his part. I'm exhausted.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
What's wrong with him? I'm not a clinical anything (except possibly crazy lol) but he sounds very depressed. Counseling is a good suggestion, so are meds. But if he won't do anything about it, that's his decision.
I understand that you don't want to throw anything at him in his current state of mind, but it's also not fair of him to be laying all this on you.
Maybe you should start slipping him some of the st john's wart LOL. (I am being facetious, I think he is too unbalanced and needs real medical evaluation and help, not the little assistance a herbal remedy can give)
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Maybe even a pamprin! A girlfriend of mine years ago swore her H had his time of the month too when his hormones were out of whack.
Right now he sounds like a little kid. Maybe you need to break things down for him and not throw it all out there at once like he does for you. I really hope he can grow a set, but running away isn't going to do it.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Kerry, as usual, you provide the laughter in a moment that I seriously wasn't laughing about.
Really, I should be laughing...come on! He's certifiable!!!!
Like I said, I've really had enough of this. He either gets help on his own or he's out. It's going to have to wait until after next week though. Marc starts school Monday and I don't need to be making him more stressed than he already is.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
I think he's just in over his head and doesn't know how to deal with it. He doesn't know how to be any different than he is. Let him go to do his thing. If he comes back don't let him in, make him earn his way. It was too easy for him this time he didn't have to prove anything or show you things had changed. He was just back home. But, I'm getting way ahead of myself here except with his frame of mind he could come back tomorrow with another about face!
