cheated on, lied to, and now I am moving on

[awest1217]

S's b-day is September 8th so almost a year apart exactly. Still did not sleep well. S woke up really early. Today is supposed to be rainy all day so I think we are going to go to my work and get some things done.

[awest1217]

Had a good night's sleep last night. I also had a good dream. I dreamt I went to England and while there met a guy named Alex (no idea where that came from). He as very cute (once again I have never met anyone who looks like him). We got along, but of course he lived in England.

Second time I have had a dream about a possible future guy that I have never met. Usually I dream about people I know. Either way I slept well so that is good.

Today it is going to be beautiful so S and I are going to do some much needed yard work. Then I have to get to the L's to pick up the D papers. I will try to serve H today, but who knows.

In other news, H's aunt who has cancer, had a stroke yesterday. She is not doing well. She has pneumonia and probably does not have long left. H text me last night about S so I asked about her. (I know H actually asked about S...crazy. It may be because he wants to prove he can be a better dad. I am still being cautious because he never sticks with it so we will see). I will go to the viewing if she passes away and if it isn't during school, I will go to the funeral, but not sit with the family.

[Lucky11too]

How funny. S was supposed to be born on the 8th but came a day early.

Great news that you were able to get some sleep last night. That's exactly what your body needs! Maybe your dreams are just another way to help confirm that you really are moving on past H.

Good luck with serving H today. Does he know that it should happen today? Stay strong b/c although you need to do it, it's still a tough step to face.

Sorry to hear about H's aunt. It's hard b/c even though they are our spouses family, them become your family too, so it's still tough. We're you close with her at all?

Wow, can't believe H actually asked about about S! Maybe it's all setting in and he's realizing he has to be an actual father now. Hope it continues for S's sake and that he does become the father S needs him to be.

Well, enjoy the beautiful day today! =)

[awest1217]

I only signed the papers today, but I won't get them to serve H until either tomorrow or early next week so that is off for now.

I am very sore because I did tons of yard work. I swept the front and back porches, trimmed bushes, wed, pulled out two bushes, planted flowers, cleared the alley, and mowed. Now I am going to go take a nice hot bath and chill for a bit.

Tomorrow S and i are going to go to the beach again just the two of us. It should be a lot of fun because S has been really clingy again today. He slept with me last night and wanted to cuddle a lot this morning. Then wouldn't go to my parent's so I could sign the papers so I took him with me. We didn't talk about anything. I just signed papers so we were only there for 10 minutes at most. He has been much less fussy though so that is good. He has been so fussy and defying since last weekend, but he is much better today. I hope it isn't like this every time he spends time with H. I know S loves the time with H, but he is so bad when he comes home. Maybe it will get better as he gets used to it more because otherwise it will be even worse when I have to work and he has to go to daycare (if he is acting this way because he misses me). I am really going to have to make sure that I spend some good quality time with him Sundays when H has him.

BATH TIME!

[smith18]

Awest -

You are doing the right thing by filing so as to cut the shared finances STBXH is incurring with OW. I hope you can both agree to things fairly quickly before he lawyers up. Pick your battles carefully and take your L's advice.

I self served the D papers to my wife. Even though I gave her a heads up before doing that, she was in a fuming rage for a while. All the cake eating caught up to her.

Beach in Indiana? I would assume Lake Michigan is somewhat like and ocean.

[ClingingToHope]

Hey Awest, my real name is Alex, but I've never been to England.

[Reincarnated]

Your son will react with the more stable parent, the place he is more secure with. All of the transitions and resulting stress have to go somewhere - and you will most likely be it. Look into some reading now; it can help save your sanity.

[awest1217]

Thanks Donna. I have taken a ton of classes on child psychology because I have always thought it helps me when it comes to teaching, and it has, but it is also helping me with S. For example, I know that H is more demanding of S than I am and doesn't take him anywhere in public because he wants S to be perfect. I on the other hand have given S some freedom and treat him with respect. I have let S walk in the mall without holding my hand since he was 18 months old. IF he gets too far, I just say S too far or S stop please, and he does. (this is all odd because H's biggest complaint is I was too controlling, funny how I am trusting when the person deserves the trust). He knows to hold hands when there are cars around or if there are a lot of people (for example when we went to the fair) he had to hold my hand, but otherwise he gets some freedom.

I also try to lead by example like when I am asking S things to say please and thank you. I am working on S using manners so I use them as well.

I know I am not the perfect parent because I yell way too much as S, but I agree with you Donna, he acts out with me because he knows I will always be here. When H would keep going in and out or H would not show up last year for a visit, S would cry and I would tell him that mommy will never leave I will always be around or I would say mommy always comes back. It makes me feel better knowing it is because he trusts me that he can do that, however it is still so hard. He loves his dad and enjoys spending the time with him (S asks me to come and when I say do you want me to he always says no so I know he wants that sole daddy/S time), but I know it is hard on S. I try to help S by being happy when he leaves and happy when he comes home. Plus I try to talk to him about what he did and get excited with him, but S doesn't really talk about his time with H, which is also odd for him.

Anyway we had an issue at bedtime, but I got S to sleep in his own bed. Today the beach!

Tomorrow is S's best friend's b-day party. Sunday is church. This week has flown by.

[Lucky11too]

It sounds like you are really doing a great job with S. These sitch's are definitely hard on them, but the best we can do is provide them with a loving and stable environment. Hopefully if H continues to keep it up, S will get into the routine of it all and know he can count on time with H and be content with that time.

Have fun this weekend! =)

[awest1217]

Tons of fun at the beach!

I got the summons to give to H. He said he will just get it on Wednesday when we go to S's 3 year old check-up. I said I didn't think that was a good idea, but he must. Now I am going to do my pre-registration work for the parenting class I have to take. The more I can get done now, the better.