CD - I am sorry to jump in on your thread when you probably don't know who I am ... and I rarely post any more but ... I wanted to comment on the age issue.
I know you said that you "thought long and hard" about whether you were marrying "her" or "a 25 year old"...however, the problem in this scenario is that most 25 year olds cannot think long and hard about the future. Regardless of their maturity level, they simply do not have the life experience to be able to project into the future and know how they might feel.
I'm sorry to add my thoughts here, because I know you are not going to like this and it might hurt (so (((((here's some hugs))) in advance)....but it probably would be best to let her go on her way. Now, she may still come back around eventually, on her own. But...as gently as I can say it...even if she does come back, she will likely leave again in the future. No matter what she may have said about the age issue when you married her, she is going to feel different when she is 45 and you are 63. She might have thought it wouldn't matter to her, but it will.
Can you at least just think about this suggestion, without letting it rock your world or your DB-ing? Can you just let it be one of the many suggestions you have received here, and try to give it some of your mental real estate without it freaking you out?
I would hate to see you reconcile, only to have her leave again in the future...
