I like your list ideas...and for him to have one as well.
Knowing H, he is at the point where he will be fine with the list, BUT, he will want it clear that it's to "work on the R - as a friendship - and not the M." That, to me, is still saying he wants out, but maybe it's just semantics and I shouldn't worry about it if he is willing to do the other things. What I'm trying to avoid here is cake-eating!
The Rosenthal stuff is a lot of things we covered over the last weekend at the retreat. I don't know why H can't sit there and hear that "Spouses lose feelings but can get them back...." but then is so insistent that "it's over." He reads these things, but they don't sink in. In his mind, it doesn't matter what the experts are saying, it only matters what he feels. SO frustrating!
