I really don't like FT's who just run their agenda and don't even tell you where they are trying to go wtih it... It's like throwing people in teh back seat and driving without any communication...
The irony is these people are supposed to be experts at managing relationships and here she is doing this stuff and you aren't fully in the loop on her goals at all... What the heck is that all about?
In my opinion the one of the first things the FT should address is
a. Attack Abuse - establish safe boundaries for both spouses immeidately b. Attack infideility c. Attack Divorce
Once she's run that business through the conflict should at least be on a fair playing field as no one's cheating, no one's divorceing, and no one's abusing anyone... NOW you can deal with problems...
But if your H's talking divorce and looking at apartments this FT is NOT doing her job in my opinion...
You can't treat a marriage if the couple isnt' safe from these things above... And it does not sound like she addressed that..
If she's assigning him books on boundary setting and such then she's gotten ahead of herself..
First thing she should be telling your H is
a. No threatening to leave b. We are NOT leaving the marriage, that is the LAST RESORT once therapy has proven to BOTH of you that it is ineffective... c. No cheating, no prowling, no moving out
etc... Once she's talked to him ONE ON ONE about those items THEN she can address other conflicts...
To my mind those are red alerts above (a, b, and c) and she should be jumping on those HERSELF IMMEDIATLEY
Once she dispells the myths of escape (all kinds, divorce, infidelity, drinking, etc) and put a stop to that nonsense then you can work with the couple effectively
