Is your FT aware of the program you went on and the material?
I really think that these professionals should coordinate or you have to manage that coordination... Otherwise there's a risk of working at cross purposes...
I don't think your H needs a book on setting boundaries... Where on earth did the FT get the idea that he needed to read that?
I know she is aware of the program but I doubt she has full knowledge of how it works. That’s a good question. I am at the point where I feel maybe a FT who understands DB/Tough Love/Exposure is in order. While the one I’ve been seeing agrees with these concepts, she doesn’t seem to know about implementation, which is frustrating.
Case in point, having H read a book on boundaries and tough conversations. Does H need to learn these things? Yes. Had I known he was so upset about certain issues: housekeeping, certain kids’ activities that were costly, etc… I would have certainly paid closer attention to what he wanted. He just expected that “I knew” he was against things and now I’m being blasted because “I just did what I wanted and disregarded him.” I’m willing to see my part in that.
However… right now, in H’s mindset, FT should not have gone that direction with him. She should’ve stood up for M more and had him read something like RR or Love Languages, or something! But… maybe she felt that by validating his feelings and underscoring that he has an issue setting boundaries that she was getting him to see this WAS on him too and not just me. ??? That’s my guess.
