This is the most difficult thing I have had to read.
Originally Posted By: Gucci
Why are you with a woman 20 years younger than you? Why are you holding on so tight to a woman 20 years younger than you....??? You and I both know that you can't have very much in common with a woman so much younger.. I know it was good for the ego when she loved you, but a mature man should have known that you are asking for nothing but heartache to marry a woman who is in her twenties when you are in your forties.....
This is personal and, without wanting to alienate you from keeping watch on my thread, "off-side". I thought long and hard about this before I committed to my wife. I wanted to be sure I was marrying HER and not "a 25 year old" And I can tell you that we certainly DID have things in common. Attitudes; sense of humor; sense of adventure (camping, travel, etc) and we BOTH discussed the issue of age and children prior to marriage. Quite frankly, other than the numbers on birth certificates, "age" was relative. She didn't behave like any 22-25 year olds I had ever met; and I certainly didn't act like most 40 year olds I knew. She was more late twenties and I STILL "feel" mid-thirties.
Originally Posted By: Gucci
do you only want to hear and talk about "unconditional love" and "her being in a fog" and other things that give you false hope?????
No. Absolutely not. I am not clinging to false hope. I know who I married. And this is not her. Her current behaviour is exactly what I expected from her when she was 22-25. She wasn't that the. But she is now. This current behaviour is not TRUE to her, IMO.
Originally Posted By: Gucci
Wouldn't it be best for her to be with a man her age? or at least close to her age... Quit holding onto this so tightly... Same goes for you. You should be with someone your age. You know that and I know that. Don't try to tell me "age has nothing to do with it" because it DOES....
Says who? Where is that written as a rule? Prior to my marriage, I had almost nothing in common with women my age. Most were married; had kids; may have already been through a divorce and bitter. Stale. I was none of those things. I have given THIS a lot of thought, too. Presuming my W and I D, I am STILL not in a position where I would be any more likely to be with a woman my age. Most in their forties have kids in their teens or twenties. Mine is two. There is no commonality here.
Sorry, Gucci, but unless you have a follow-on point and you were checking to see whether I am serious or not, I don't agree with you on this. I do, however, appreciate your candor and involvement here. I NEED all the advice and hard questions I can get if I'm going to get through this successfully.
And success to me is STILL becoming a better CD and getting my M and family put back together.
