Blindsided, Just served with papers!

[TimeHeals]

She needs to start seeing the reality here. And its not going to be pretty for her.

If you want to explain the finances related to the house, go ahead. If you're expecting "her to see the reality", then you are going to be sadly disappointed, I expect.

She doesn't want the life she has now: the house, the husband, the family. She probably feels there has to be something more, that this is not who SHE is. She may feel like she is living a lie right now.

How is talking finances going to change that? If anything, it's just a sad reminder of just how lost she is which is probably how she feels a lot of the time right now.

The only thing you can do that isn't going to cause more grief is start agreeing with her while she pulls away. If she wants a divorce, give her a divorce, but protect your own interests, protect your kids.

Stop trying to pull her back or she will fight to get away even more. Don't focus on how YOU feel (your feelings will be changing a lot and often: over the next few months, if you do the work, you will go from sad, to angry, to happy, and back through it all a couple of times, so you cannot act on your feelings).

Warning: Nothing you have ever seen in a romantic comedy is going to change things.

Your mission is to focus on protecting yourself, your kids, getting a life, and moving forward. Embrace the challenge, and it will change you for the better. God (the Universe or whatever you want to call it) is offering you an opportunity to grow in ways you didn't even know you can grow. If you embrace it one tiny step at a time, you will grow into a happier, healthier, more confident person.

Can embracing the change save your marriage or revive it after death? It can, but it might not, but you won't reget it.