She's in MLC, but I was weak. Now what?

[crushednstuck]

Thanks all. As you can see, I've been on the board since March, but haven't gathered the courage to put it out there for public consumption. I've read through most threads and have not completed all the book reading, but have found much useful stuff. This makes me all the more ashamed of my actions.
With little kids and sharing custody, the options are limited for "going dark". The trouble I have with detaching is it reinforces her image of me as a "stoic" unemotional robot. But I am far from that. She wants me to share my emotions, but I simply can't with OM still in the picture.
Thanks again for the intro.