I tried, I changed, but still am getting divorced!

[newmama]

The other thing I am trying to wrap my head around is why ya'll say yes to dates when you don't like the person (I mean you might like them but don't want to have anything to do with them as far as anything more goes). Why not just say no?

Good question, CG! First, what CW said! Second, in this case with Rugby, here is a history:
1)June he emailed me when I turned my profile back on; we had some things in common, he looked cute in his pics, I liked that he had 50% custody of his kids, so I emailed him back...was thinking I might try dating.

2)When stbxh told me he was uncertain about filing for D a few days later, I emailed Rugby back and said it was too soon for me to date

3)When zoobrew and I went out and I was head over heels, my friend C told me to date others so as not to get attached. I looked up Rugby and asked if he'd give me another chance.

4)We finally go on the date; IMO he wasn't terrible nor was he great. We did have a good phone conversation previous. We had fun conversation on the date. I "allowed" kissing--he didn't push himself on me! He called me immediately after to make sure we would go out again. I said yes but didn't specify a time or day and told him we would talk soon. I thought that because zoobrew was on mymind, maybe I didn't give Rugby the full attention he deserved and maybe I would feel sparks on the 2nd date.


So the combination of all 4 things are why I said yes to a second date...

I think what really creeps me out is the idea of some guy sifting through profiles of 100's of women sort of picking and choosing. Like how do you know the guy isn't a freak sitting there in his undershorts just looking at women!? It just feels scary to me. Not like I am scared to date but scared of the people. I get you can filter them out but I think the idea of somebody putting tons of women in a "shopping cart" turns me off.

Ah, but you see, WOMEN get to sift through MEN's profiles and pick and choose, too! It's the 21st century!

Now what pics do you think women are posting? I mean do men just love to sit there looking at smiling women wearing decent clothes when they could also look at smiling women on TV, in the grocery store, at work, in magazines, etc...the women mostly look normal! There ARE some who choose to post pics of themselves in bikinis or lingerie or lowcut shirts, etc...uh, DUH? don't do that!? what are these women thinking?! And the same goes for men!

(FYI There are 2 big pet peeves of men's pictures that I can't stand.
1) the guy who just didn't even try. He is wearing a sloppy t-shirt and holding his cell phone up in the mirror, barely smiling. It's like he is thinking "eh, take it or leave it, here I am. You like it or not." Yeah wonder how he would like a pic of me doing the same thing?

2)when the men only have pics of themselves wearing sunglasses.

3)Oh, wait- guess I have a 3rd- all the pics are goofy on purpose, like to show their humor....but we need to see the face!!!)

And you meet in a public place, keep the date brief (unless it's going well),and if you are really paranoid, do not let him see where you parked or see your car.

But you know something? I think the odds are greater of meeting a creep in a bar versus on the internet. Not that those are the only 2 options,lol!

It's just that I agree with your friend, CG, that it is efficient to use online dating, especially if you don't have access to meeting men the regular way (like you do in your community). CG, I think in your case, you don't need the internet for dating! And yes, there are some very excellent men on this DB forum!