Make no mistake You are not expressing love to gain acceptance of W For any reason Other than expression of your own idea of what it means to love your W. And it doesn't mean you have to respond or be her friend even It just means whatever it is you decide is comfortable for you.
And that's just ME.
Originally Posted By: Steady
This is where I'm at. She does these things, lies and fabrications, my frustration and anger has turned more to sadness and feeling sorry for her now. It comes and goes rapidly now. I am approaching the point where no matter what she says or does I will be unflappable
Bingo! Much less anger. MUCH less self-loathing. Far fewer "butterflies" when I think about her or the sitch. WAY MORE calm, confident and collected.
Originally Posted By: Steady
I feel bad for my W. I said, "I wouldn't want to live in her skin for a second. Could you imagine what it's like to live like that. The alcohol problem. The anxiety and stress. The lying and exaggeration."I wouldn't want to be her right now.
I started to notice this last weekend. I saw her after the Chatty Cathy routine. She was at OM's place. She looked so sad and bored. Nothing like the facade I saw.
Originally Posted By: Steady
This is closer to loving detachment rather than detachment from anger. I can see you can detach using either one. Her behavior brought about the angry detachment, now it seems to be moving into a more neutral/loving detachment. I can see I needed the angry one first. So that's why it came like that.
Ditto. Initially my detachment was angry/resentful/"forced" and borderline rude. I was still there when I confronted because it happened so quickly. Too soon for me to get "HERE". And now the detachment (and future confrontations/boundaries/interactions will come from a much different place. A much different ME
