I think if you both haev a list that you negotiate ongoing it will give you both some sense of safety and confidence in each other... If I were a FT this is one of the first things I would do... I woudl try to keep the list to five or so items at first and then gradually add to it...
I would try to make sure both lists were equally weighted...
Its kinda like a practical reknew of vows without the decoration...
