I agree with Steady

Set boundaries.

They are tools to get you where you are going.

If you can't converse with W without the anger and resentment

or without the detachment with which you speak to the mail man.

Don't do it.

Your journey will take you to a point and

...then to places beyond that.

I have often wondered do we always or will we always need a boundary?

I think the goal maybe is to get to a point where it doesn't matter.

But

Maybe that's when the three of us are reincarnated and living on mars....

Make no mistake

You are not expressing love to gain acceptance of W

For any reason

Other than expression of your own idea of

what it means to love your W.

And it doesn't mean you have to respond or be her friend even

It just means whatever it is you decide is comfortable for you.

IMO you have to eventually get to a point where your trauma subsides...

from any interaction with W

Then you know you are healing.

If you place too much emphasis on how she is behaving or treating you

You haven't detached and

You haven't healed.

My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am