W just texted me and said, leaving work going to store do you need yogurt for your breakfast?? WHo the hell am I married too? Is she trying to be nice so i go along with her plan? I keep osting like a friggin teenager this is really frustrating.
She has no clue how bad this could really become. Our credit has been shot due to my business with my partners and the fact I have not received a steady paycheck in months. We have no equity in the home we are in, thanks to the market, and she put in the papers she wants to stay in the house with the kids, but she cant afford it. I have enough money set aside to go rent a new place tomorrow. I am going to go get the kids and hit the gym, she had the nerve to ask me to stop by her work so she can give the kids a treat, UMMM I just got served papers, is it normal for her to be on her high horse right now seeing me in shock? it is not even phasing her one bit?
Yes she's gloating, you took her power away when she originally asked you to leave. This divorce process was probably in place for quite some time, remember it's only been 2 weeks since you were supposed to leave the house as per original demands. She asked you to leave, you've been reading her journal, where in that little book of hers did she write that she loved you and hoped you would fight for the marriage just like she was?
I'll answer that.... no where did she write any of this stuff.
Don't move out, you can shelve those plans to rent a new place.
Let her be.
And don't be her puppy dog either, jumping at her every request.
If she doesn't want to be with you, let her go.
No amount of kissing her a$$ now is going to do any good, don't you remember that you felt like she was fishing for information, via email a week ago about your counseling, about your drinking, she kept asking you about you being an alcoholic, hoping you would admit something via email, she's been planning this for quite some time already. That's why we told you not to reply to her emails with any details via email, she was stockpiling information.
Let her go.
Her staying in the home is just a dream of hers, when you reply to the d filing, you can write the same thing in there as well, you want to stay in the house with the kids.
W just texted me and said, leaving work going to store do you need yogurt for your breakfast?? WHo the hell am I married too? Is she trying to be nice so i go along with her plan? I keep osting like a friggin teenager this is really frustrating.
I would have told her, "yeah I need yogurt" and give her a list of things you want her to buy, no worries.
She's trying to be nice because even though she felt all big and strong with her serving you divorce paperwork, a part of her feels guilty about what's happening now, you're ok, no worries, you can handle this.
This is happening really fast, 1 month ago she was sending me pics of her and the kids, saying "we love you" now papers? I am going nutz need to go throw weights around, and I need a kick in the @ss from Robx????
You're fine, stop running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, remember part of this was you learning how to respond and react to these situations without flying off the handle, you'll get through this.
I guess my first reaction was F her, if this is what she wants she can have it. Emotions, emotions I believe she did this off of emotions, and not really thinking it through. The last few days I have been distant and chipper, which I am sure pissed her off, thinking he doesnt give a sh!t so I will show him?? Like PMA said, its a pissing contest. I have told her its not what I want, and when she gets home I wont bring it up. I will wait a few days and see if she brings it up?
Aside from the "f her" part, your thought about "if this is what she wants she can have it." is exactly right.
If this is what she wants, give it to her. She's been emotional this whole time, up & down, grumpy, moody, angry, sad, then happy.
Don't worry about telling her that a divorce is not what you want, what YOU want is someone who wants to be with you without all this drama and if she's going to act like this, you have your answer.
Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?
To be honest Rob, I don't care about the house the taxes are behind as well as the mortgage. I have about 12k saved up and to get the house current would take 10 of that. I am half tempted to give it to the bank anyway, and move on. W came home from the store put groceries away, and has crawled up to her room with a catalog and shut the door.
I am letting her be. Part of me wants to not catch up on the house, she can't do it on her own. I can at least rent a decent place and make a better environment for the kids. The best she could do is a 2 BR apartment. I don't know if I even want to hire a L. I could probably handle it myself.
I do agree its probably something that she has been planning for a while. Like I said playing me like a fiddle. The paperwork also stated something about anger management and if I am not in a program asked the court to insist I go in one. Such BS.
So I can play hardball and tell her guess what? I am not going to get house caught up, you need to plan on finding a place to move to since I am going to contact the bank and let them know. I don't see anywhere in the court papers that says I have to keep paying on the house or anything like that.
focus on taking care of yourself and being a good dad to your kids, the best father they can have, let your wife do what she wants to do, you can't stop her even if you want to so don't waste your energy in that direction.
As for your house, that's your personal call, it's your home, its your decision.
