It doesn't sound like he was very caring at that moment. How do you think he might have been feeling?
i think he was afraid to admit his own fears. it's not manly to admit you are afraid when your wife is clearly not. ie. i was ready for a baby and i wasn't afraid. but he was and instead of admitting his own fears, he projected it on to me.
i only learned about projection after the d-bomb was dropped. i took it personally when i first heard it. then after the d-bomb, i sought ic because things started to not make sense for me. and it wasn't until then that i realized what was going on.
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Are you caring about how he feels when you get in your digs?
Did you care how he felt when you went icy cold and passive aggressive at Christmas?
Do you feel more valuable and lovable when you punish people when you feel hurt by them?
i've been through this discussion before. two wrongs don't make a right. it is not the mature way to handle things.
i understand it isn't the right thing to do.
i'm out of practice which is why it concerns me. i can talk about it all i want but when faced with a real situation, will i buckle? will i continue to dig? the boards are all text based so nobody can hear the tone of my speech or see the look on my face when i'm saying it.
i know how bad the "look" and the "digs" are. believe me, there are several posts about this. i get it. but practice, practice, practice.
